Shorter* Suzyn Waldman
Suzyn has outdone herself. Forget demanding that the Tampa Bay Devil Rays forfeit a game because they were late and the Yankees had already showered and dressed for the game. Forget her constant dismissal of Yankee opponents as not worthy of victories, and her constant attitude of Yankee entitlement (although that relates to this latest incident). No, on October 8th 2007, Suzyn Waldman took her awful performance as a color commentator to a ridiculously new low level. Following Joe Torre's post-game press conference at Jacobs Field in Cleveland (which followed the Yankee defeat in Game 4 of the ALDS, and subsequent elimination from the playoffs), Suzyn Waldman went on the air and cried.
Here is her full broadcast which you can download here (courtesy awfulannouncing.com)
You're going to have to bear with me here, cos' you know me, I cry at Cinderella, and I can't believe what's going on in there. Um....What's going on in that clubhouse and what Joe Torre is saying at the podium - John, this rivals that plane ride from Seattle [sniff], because everybody knows there's going to be a lot of changes here, and people are absolutely saying goodbye to each other. And it's very very tough place to be right now. [Sniff] Joe Torre is at the podium, and um, the first thing he said was that we wanted to congratulate Eric Wedge the way he turned his team around, and if you make a mistake they'll pummel you and that's exactly what they did. Um. Then obviously the first question was about his future. He didn't want to talk about that. He said, "I told the players I was so proud of what they did, they were in a hole, sometimes you get complacent, sometimes you forget how hard it is. We didn't forget.
And perhaps ironically, John Sterling settled Waldman down, by telling her, "all good things come to an end," and that Joe Torre will, "land on his feet," and be fine with his wife, daughter, brother, and his well-earned millions.
Now we know that most Yankee broadcasters are complete wingnuts. Michael Kay on YES TV believes that the Yankees have been the best team in baseball since 1995, facts be damned. John Sterling on WCBS 880 AM is a poor broadcaster because you can tell by his tone whether the Yankees are winning or losing. If he sounds disgusted, then you don't need to know the score. And then there is Suzyn Waldman, John Sterling's sidekick since 2005. They will be broadcasting together on WCBS 880 AM through the end of the 2011 regular season.
Suzyn is quick to pile praise or criticism on just about any player. It's as if John Sterling provokes her (or unleashes her). I have no transcripts, but a typical moment might sound like this.
Sterling: Andy deals....and there's a ground ball to center. Jeter runs to the ball, picks it up, tags second, throws to Giambi...a beautiful 6-3 double play, and Jeter made it look easy. He picked-up the ball bare-handed, tagged second, jumped over the sliding baserunner, and threw to first all in about 3 seconds.
Waldman: ONLY DEREK JETER COULD MAKE THAT PLAY!
Sterling: He has done it so many times. He makes it look easy. The captain showing some golden glove skills, and didn't use his glove.
Waldman: AMAZING, JOHN. THAT'S WHY HE'S THE BEST SHORTSTOP IN THE AMERICAN LEAGUE. THAT'S WHY HE'S CAPTAIN.
OK, I will try to ignore this duo. It's easy when the Red Sox are on their way to winning their seventh World Series.